moulder is hot!!

i am offically addicted to x-files. i love it. i want them all. they're goin on my wish list in my head. nearly finished makin my sister a necklace. then i think i will do some drawins. i have some really cool old photos to look at for inspiration. will keep me goin while im travellin to the alps. woop!! can't wait to go snowboardin.

crimbo has been quite quiet. can't wait to go snowboardin. woop!!!! i've got back into random little bits of sewin and i've finally finished my knitted top. Yay. hehe. i may try wear it out 2moro.

bloody cow

knittin is nearly done. i think. got to do the border yet but hopin that wont take long. jus had an arguement with my mum so gonna lock myself away and knit knit knit and listen to russell brand. mums are evil. im 24 and get shouted at like a 12 yr old. can't wait to move away.

nut

actually been doin my knittin. shd be doin it now in fact. hopin to finish real soon cos i get bored of things if they take too long to do. half way thr the back piece. i've got another pattern to do yet. also a crochet book to have a go at and i bought embossin stuff. so much stuff and no time to do it. sums up my life in a nut shell.

herbert

gotta go to work in a wee tick but aint written for a while so thought i better. still doin me knittin. havent done it for ages, so makin myself do it lol. on the back so half way. also made a pin cushion. it's quite big as i always think they are too small wen u buy them. i have a lot of pins and needles so big is gud.

im old

i am offically turnin 'old' in 46 mins. i dont want to be 24. that's too old. plus i dont even have a proper job or life. so feelin bit down. also think i'm startin to look quite haggered, so gonna start buyin some strong creams to cake my face in. lol.





finally got some more stuff in my etsy shop. some cards and some tops i've made.

gonna make some pin cushions to try and sell too. also got my knittin pattern back that i left round carolines, so i can finish my top. woop.

soddin bloody life

i am at a loose end. i left my knittin pattern at carolines. im bored of everything i try doin to keep myself goin and i'm not sleepin. i hate my job and no matter how hard i try, i can't get a new one. if it weren't so soddin flat here i would jump off the nearest cliff (obviously would need a coast line too lol)

seriously. i'm 24 on thurs and i have no life. i thought that i would at least be livin with a bloke or with mates by now, but nope. with the rents. thought i'd have a slightly decent job by now, nope. barmaid. thought i'd have some idea of what i wanted for the future, nada. i can't even look after myself with out nearly burnin the house down. wot am i to do??

i can't even sink in to a drunken state anymore cos it hurts to much lol. sucks when the one thing that cheers me up is poison. bloody booze.

i've lost direction and have no one to guide me.

pass the dutchie

woop i made a treasury on etsy. http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=13936 it dies on monday tho :( kinda sad. lol. not been up to much. took my mum shoppin to get her a dress for the mayors ball. done a bit of knittin. worked too much. got some new snowboardin trousers. crazy excited bout that. again i am sad!! hehe. avin a lazy day (until i have to go to work later - boogie nite) listenin to dodgey 80s tunes. couldn't get any better. ha.

phew...

still knittin away. can't believe i'm followin a 1955 pattern on my 1st proper go at grown up knittin (decided a knitted babe didn't count as i can't wear it)

finally got an etsy store after a bit of fidderling round with my cards. worth the hassle though i hope. http://www.etsy.com/treasury_list.php?room_id=13021 least i'm being noticed.

had my interview this mornin. was sick before i set off. went ok. find out 2moro if i got the job or not. ekk. hopin to go have a few drinkies lata! woop. hehe.

miss nash

Woop

she was guddy gud gud

go and see...

(peggy sue and the pirates supported and we're even better in my eyes)

i'm watchin dave

wow my knitting soooooooooooooooooo far... have to admit i wish it was quicker to do. gonna try finish it for thurs so i can wear it out. doin the scoop neck top. woop.

goin to see kate nash play 2moro, so will take some piccles. quite want to do an embroidery of her as she's quirky, so a few gud piccles would be very nice. mite even treat myself to something tacky, like a tee or something. hehe. excited tho. don't really know many of her songs. i've been too lazy to listen to them, so will have to clean house while dancin to them.

things to do...

1. clean miss franigan hanky bruce poo poo face out. she smells poopy.
2. listen to kate nash songs so don't look completely turnip like.
3. find directions 2 get there (so don't take 4eva like last time).
4. make sure me wheels has petty troll
5. do some knittin
6. do some sewin
7. RING TO CONFIRM INTERVIEW!!!!!!!
8. ou... find kate nash tickets... really don't know where i put them...

plop

ou i finally got a new fone. woop woop woop. keep forgettin how to use it. like it though. it's pretty. started knittin a tank top thing from a 1950s pattern. dunno what it's goin to end up lookin like cos i'm quite crap at knittin. would be quite cool if i could knit my own tops. yup yup. mark over for the weekend. so were watchin scream 3 as we are sad! went out last night. so were allowed to be old and lazy tonight. hehe.

i feel bleak yet neon

i think im gonna bob my dolls hair. been feelin it for a while. so gonna give her the chop. maybe a posh bob. who knows. meant to be knittin her hoody, but watchin are you smarter than a ten yr old. i would say no. oopsie.

yummy feta cheese salad.

poopy poopy poo poo. that's how i feel. miss ben unbelieveablely. saw him last night as i was comin out of the loos int lounge. really felt it hit me. just wanted to cry and hug him. i am so sad. just finished work. 10 hr shift. shattered. can't wait for my lie in 2moro. well, later 2day lol. gonna watch strictly come dancin (sadly sky plus'ed). bruce makes me cringe. the little spanish dancer man, vincent, reminds me of the dog whisperer.

bens had his hair cut. it looks really good. i want to hate him so much but i can't.

Auf Wiedersehen Ben Sie Fotze

Auf Wiedersehen Ben Sie Fotze

plop

back to work after bein sicky for a few days. was hard. shattered. havin a down day. can't stop thinkin bout you know who. watched some picture box with me mam, knitted a little. jus feel like crawlin up in to a ball, cryin and drinkin. sadly i can't drink and cryin will do me no gud. so crawlin in ball is my only choice (and watchin heroes)

nimajneb

its been a month and 2 days since ben and me were no more

:(

i still want him to fall over and seriously hurt himself. is that mean and bitter? i don't care. i still hurt. the twat.

have started knittin a hoody for my dolly. i am soooooooo sad. i've gone from a fun, socialable, party lovin gal to a sad, tea total, loner who has to knit and sew everynight, not for enjoyment like she use to. but to stop herself from cryin and drinkin her liver dry. i can't fully blame ben, as it is my fault as well, but my god, i am shovin a lot of his shoulders. the one person who has kept me goin and sorta sane has buggered off travelin til march. that's a long time to cope on my own. but i must.

i'm goin to create a sewn piece of how i feel bout the twat. obviously i have to finish the piece i'm already doin. i shall go do some now!!

still ill :(

still feelin poopy. was meant to be goin cinema with helen but not now :( oh well. hopefully feel better 2moro and can work. i need the pennies. kb now has hair, tho she still don't have any legs. lol.

woop she has legs now. though she is still in the nude oopsie

:(

i am ill

:(

so i'm going to try to stay asleep until it goes away.
ben replied to my txt. nothin nasty. nothin useful. typical!!

ive eaten too many sweets

it's on the way. started cuttin the red hair (still leg'less though.. oopsie)

served ben's ex at work 2day. she is one hell of a weirdo. i don't think that jus cos she's his ex. i thought that before i knew she was. she's jus a freak. might have accidently texted ben sayin something along the lines of 'ha. jus served ur ex. she's scary. ekk!'. not one of my most mature moments...

got my new wee hamster. shes called

miss franigan hanky bruce poo poo face.

i miss ben hugs and ben sex

i've jus eaten a twix

this is my knitted babe so far. i cut her eyes out ready and goin to sew them on it a tick. still need to go get some stuffin, but at least i have the arms sewn on in the right place this time. hehe.

i dont know what colour to do the hair, i think i will do red hair like i have. sayin that, my roots need doin lol. im so happy that by the end of 2day she could be finish (although in the buff)

ha.. i'm gettin a hamster!!

hanky poo poo face

told stephen i was leavin at the end of the month. he weren't in the best of moods. think he's goin to try and talk me out of it 2moro. ekk!! i have to leave. i've made my decision. i'll still do the odd shift here and now, but i'm leavin. i need a proper job, i proper life.

have sewed one of the arms on to my knitted babe. well, i actually sewed one of the legs on 1st by accident an had to unpick it all. it's correct now though. goin to buy some wool for the hair and some stuffin in the mornin.

i'm also goin to buy a wee ickle hamster! woop. soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited hehe.

been good and not done any winehousing since friday. be proud.

.g.a.y.b.e.n.

yup im still gonna quit my job. i decided 2day that it is the right step forwards. i need a new fresh out look on life and workin there will not help me at all. i want to go snow boardin in december too so incentive to actually get a job. that's good. helen's goin to come over later so we will be knittin away. i want a hamster. watchin diagnosis murder. grandee!!

i need a job please

I AM QUITTIN MY JOB. i can't stand bein treated like shit anymore. for nearly a year i have worked my ass off and been treated like scum. no more. see how they manage without me. someone pay me to do something. please.

ou i have done the body of my knitted babe and one arm. rock and roll....

very tired

as i was gettin a taxi back from town earlier i noticed how beautiful the moon was. the sky was all cloudy, but the light reflected off the moon on to them. it was overwhelmin. made me think.

okay. so maybe i'm a lil bit tipsy, but i'm allowed to be. helen and me went for a few drinks at the taproom. was good. i was obviously on my usual and hel was on hers. i sat there knittin while we nattered. twat face turned up but thank lordy he took my advice and ignored me. it felt horrid not havin the contact with him that we use to have, but it's for the best. the best for me. my knittins gettin on well. i've made one back of the doll and have started the other body bit. so hopefully it will be nearer done soon. i'm really lookin forward to makin clothes for it. is that sad. ges... i don't care. this is keepin me goin, givin me something to do. i'm thankful for my drunken internet buyin. i wouldn't have the knitted babes book otherwise. hehe.

ben looked gud btw :(

Leben saugt

Ich verpasse Benjamin mehr als ich je könnte mich vorstellen. Ich habe das ein gutes Ding verloren, das je zu mir geschehen ist. Ich habe meinen besten Freund, meine Liebe, meinen soulmate und meinen Benny verloren. Meine Welt ist stumpf, flach und grau geworden, und er sorgt sich auch nicht, wie dies mich beeinflusst. Ich bin gebrochen.

1 step 4wards, 97 back

had a bit of a weird day. feel really exhausted. think it's cos i've worked loads over the last few weeks. only one person to blame for that, and i don't mean myself. 2day jus felt like such an effort. all i could think about was ben. claire brought it on. las nite she asked if we were back together yet, as if it was goin to happen. it's jus so hard tryin to carry on everyday like normal, but without him. i nearly cried in the kitchen at work. i jus feel so alone. i've lost the most important person in my life and i have no solid reason to why. i'm bein good. i haven't had any contact with him since weds mornin. nearly a week ago. it's killin me. i wish this starts to get easier soon cos i can't keep goin like this. i'm not sleepin too grandee at the moment and workin loads. i jus don't think i'm ever goin to get over this. he was my life. how sad is that.

so after my extremely dire shift at work, hel came round mine and we watched big. old skool! got it in woollies cheapo. she cross stitched (which i never knew she did) and i still attempted my knittin. i'm pretty mucho out of wool now so we are goin shop shop 2moro to buy some for our dollies.

i'm goin to make a ben doll. could i get any sadder? i still have a picture of us as my background on my puter. i can't bare to delete. it would be like choppin off one of my arms. please let me wake up and this is all a horrid dream...

knitty knit knit

my lordy. i am shattered.

feel like all i've done in the las 48 hrs is work. worked las nite, worked 2day and 2nite. workin 2moro. when am i goin to sleep? should really go to bed now, but i'm too awake and starvin. that's the one thing that sucks about workin lates, never get a good meal. like 2moro, i will have to re-heat the sunday roast that my family are havin. never tastes nice. can always eat at work, but there's only so many toasties/cheesy chips/etc... that you can eat without feelin complete shit. they don't even do veggie grub really, so i can't have one of the main meals and i don't care much for jacks. so it's poop.

started a bit of knittin. makin my mates start knittin with me. we're goin to do the knitted babes as i now have the book. will keep us quiet for a while and gives us at least one nite a week when we're not out drunk. lol. i really have forgotten how to knit though. thought i would start on a little cardi so i could get back in the swing. plus i have a feelin hel and nat won't have a clue what they're doin and i will have to teach. i don't know where all my needles have gone. i had loads at uni. i can only find some massive chunky ones and a wired pair. so i'm attemptin the wired pair, but i seriously have to buy some. i only have one ball of quite thick wool too. so i ain't that prepared hehe. oh well. it will sort itself out at some point.

i'm goin to eat ritz crackers and finish watchin the 3 amigos. i love that film! klassiker (btw.. still ain't heard from the twat)

pretty shoes

not done mucho 2day. been docs. fun. went out for lunch with me mam and bought some leggins to wear out later. my new shoes came 2day. they are more beautiful than i could have imagined. they are my new 'fuck you ben' shoes. hehe.

i really hope i don't mess these ones up. my poor poor ugg boots got the brunt of my drunken walkin home on tuesday. covered in grass. i do like to waste dosh. not that i go out of my way to do it.

my sewins gone a bit poo. well, it hasn't gone anything really, but i've done my usual thing and not finished it in time for a competition i was meant to be enterin it in. so sod it. i'm still goin to finish it. it's not like i would have won. lol. this is it so far...

twat

jus been at work. meant to be sewin. need t' finish the piece tonight really, so i may have to make myself turn the puter off!! i know. crazy! lol. got to natter to danielle at work which was grandee as i haven't seen her for a few weeks. have missed her.

ben hasn't contacted me. i know he hasn't got cred, so i shouldn't really be that surprised. i gave him one last chance. emailed him exactly what i was feelin/thinkin, then txt him sayin read it. that this was the last txt i was sendin him and the balls in his court, but i'm not waitin around for him. hopefully it will make him think. i know i sound like a right stalker, but i know for a fact he likes me, wants to be with me still. he's jus bein a cock to protect himself cos he's too scared to open up in case he gets hurt. he had the balls to have a go at me las nite for flirtin with a bloke i work with las friday when i was out. firstly, i weren't flirtin with paul, i jus get on with him so we have a laff. secondly, BEN DUMPED ME. he has no right in gettin jealous. i'm single thanks to him. i dunno. i suppose he's jus a typical twatty man. can't commit to me, but doesn't want me to commit to anyone else. i can't win. i'm still stickin up for him, only reason for that i'm guessin is cos i love him. i know he's trouble, i know he's bad for me, but when it's gud, it's brilliant. mate fran at work told me to stop drinkin and leave ben, he's no where near gud enough for me. i somehow feel that i'm not gud enough for ben.

so yeah, i'm goin cold turkey. forcin myself to have no contact with him. maybe he'l realise he might actually lose me so will stop pissin around. who knows. i know what i want, but i've lost my say. sounds silly, but my future is in his hands.

bloody ben

jus had the longest bath. i look like a prune hehe.

went out for some drinks with some mates. an anti-ben nite is jus what i needed, not what i got though

:(

he bloody turned up. had the cheek to sit with us then argue and be rude to my mates. they really weren't impressed. nor was i to tell the truth. i don't know what to do now. have deleted his number. cut contact as i think that may be the only way to come out of this alive. i'm scarin too many peeps with my 'copin'. cold turkey is prob the best option. not my winehousin it.

ordered a new pair of shoes. least i can look forward to them. they are truly beautiful. they may infact be the prettiest shoes in the entire worldipoo. hehe.

doin my sewin still. muddlin through that slowly. have my next bit of fabric background all ready. a dirty old tea-towel from work, but it has real character. i am drawn to it. i love the wornness and ripped holes.

think i may become a tea-towel thief lol

i can't live without my benny

i've tried to sleep, but i can't stop cryin. all i can think about is ben. why is this so hard. why couldn't he just tell me he didn't like me anymore instead of tellin me he still does. it's even worse than before now, because now i have hope. i can't cope with this. the waitin is horrid. the waitin for him to decide if he wants me. he wants space to sort his head out, but what about mine. can't we be together while he still sorts his. mine is gettin real fecked up now. i miss him so much. i love him so much. i can't imagine my life without him in it. i know it sounds pathetic, but when i met him it felt like i was whole for once, that woteva it was that was missin from my life was finally there. i can't bare the thought of losin him, not havin him with me. i hate feelin like this. it feels like someone has ripped part of me from myself. i cant describe how painful this is. i'm still bein sick when i think of him. i really can't except what has been happenin. i would rather die than continue goin through this. he is my life, nothin makes sense without him, nothin is worth anything. how can i survive without him.

if this doesn't get better soon. i won't.

poo day

i'm havin a real 'missin ben' day. i can't think of anything but him. not a happy day :(

im watchin csi

my new shoes cut my ankle :( doesn't mean i'm gonna stop wearin them tho. they are too pretty to avoid hehe. went out last nite after work. again. lol. think im out 2nite too. done a hell of a lot of drinkin recently. don't think its been the healthiest choice but oh well. least i'm copin a bit better. have had a talk with ben. feel like a weight has been lifted, but i'm still not happy at all. i'm still without him, but i did what he wanted. gave him some space. he did spend last nite lookin at me. all i wanted to do was talk to him, but thankfully i have great mates who wouldn't let me. i'm just hopin he will come around soon. the sooner the better. then we can go back to bein how we were. the silly poo face.

i'm feelin more able to continue with my sewin now. got to work in a few hours, have done 50hrs this week. if it weren't for the alcohol, i don't think i would be copin lol. i'm goin to do a little bit of hand stitch now and take it with me to work. hopefully it will be pretty quiet so i can sew away.

beer fest

on a break in between me shifts. so 45mins to get my clobber packed for later, my hair done and slap on (enough to go out with, but not so much that i look like a hooker). it's the beer festival so will be lots of old fat men gettin pissed. oh the joys. heard a romour that i'm meant to of thrown a glass at ben last tues. i didn't by the way. lol. though now it sounds like quite a gud idea hehe. maybe later if i bump in to him. god i hope i see him. i just want him to realise what a mistake he's made. the twat.

SNOOZERS ARE LOSERS

i don't feel much better to be honest. every day is just a blur. i did start to think maybe it will get better. you were fine before him, so course your be fine without him. i'm not. he's the first thing i think of wen i wake, every second of every moment that i'm awake i can feel myself yernin for him. he's the only thing i think about. i've hardly eaten as i don't feel hungry. i just feel numb and this weird feelin. it's like when you get butterflies, but this is horrid, and won't go away. i feel like my heart is beatin a thousand times faster and i feel sick. when i think of ben the feelin gets worse, i feel like i'm gonna vomit. this ain't normal. this ain't gonna go away. i don't know what to do. if anything it's gettin worse by the day as i'm becoming more and more aware that this is really happenin. that i have really lost him. that this isn't some joke or misunderstandin. i nearly cried at work just because i couldn't text him. how sad is that. i feel like my soul has been ripped through my heart and i don't want to continue if this is how it is gonna feel.

i never thought i would ever fall in love or find someone i could grow to love. i'm too awkward and selfish, also quite crazy and hard to deal with if you don't understand me. i get bored of blokes extremely quickly. ben was different. for starters i didn't jump head first in to things. i felt myself round him which rarely happens for me with anyone, and i wasn't afraid to be myself around him. i've never felt a connection to someone like i did to ben. i never got bored of him. i never could. now i've lost him. i will never find anyone else like him. i know myself too well. i have found and lost the one person who makes me happy.

i'm gonna go sew and watch a film i think. to keep myself busy i have put myself down for ridiculous shifts. 9.30am til 11pm 2moro. gonna be fun!!!! least i'm gonna be gettin drunk afterwards. who knows. maybe i'll bump in to ben and he'l realise hes made the biggest mistake.

i can only hope...

: (

well i lied when i said it was gettin better. i feel utter shit. i feel sick. i can't stop cryin. i feel like my whole life has caved in. all i want to do is scream. i want him back. i dont think i can cope without him. it hurts too much. i can't see any other way, i can't see a way forward. i can't live like this. i don't want to live if i'm not with him. why would he do this. why? how could he change in just a matter of days. i don't understand. i don't want to have to understand. i just want him back with me.

my name's becca & i'm an alcofrolic

omg.. once again i went out. think i've been out every nite this week. i think i mite be gettin a problem, again. lol. mate mark was over still, and we went out with a load of people i know from workipoos. was a really gud nite. didn't bump in to ben, so no dog jumpin. thank lordy. my fone battery died which i think was a gud thing as i had txts from him when i got home. i don't understand what he wants. he dumps me, then doesn't leave me alone. how am i meant to move on and forget him, if he's still hangin around. this is when i wish i had done my pgce this yr and not decided to bum for another yr. oh well. las nite was easier than the past few nites. though i do still miss him like hell. the bastard. better peel some spuds before work. fun times!

gutted

could things have got any more worse than tues.. well when alcoholic beverages are involved the answer is always YES!! lol. i decided that as thursday was my day off work i would ditch my sewin (i did very little) and drink, drink and drink some more (i did a hell of a lot of drinkin). i was what us alcys like to call, fucked. went wit chris to play pool (he played i didn't, i really couldnt see or walk) then we went to lounge for a 'few' more jars. i did the usual mistake - snake bite black.

bumped in to ben. well i wouldn't say bumped. i saw him coming out to the garden as we were going in. i did what every dumpee would have done in my situation. i avoided all eye contact and stepped over a dog to freedom. yes there was a dog blocking my exit. could only happen to me. i then sent drunken txt messages i really shouldn't have. pretty sure they were mainly full of hatred. oh well. what else would he expect.

day 3 since bein ditched - not any easier. doesn't help that i keep bumpin in to him. the complete and utter bastard! (see, i'm not bitter haha)

im gonna relax, mate marks over for the wkend, so it will be him, me, town, drunk... woop!!

Ben is a Tosser

Well i've had a weird, slightly cack 2 days. Went to the docs. Basically lied to them. I know i shouldn't have but i didnt feel safe there. Will tell my normal doc that when i see her & prob get very shouted at. Oh well.

Managed to get out of work & go to my mates leavin drinks. Got really wasted tho. Even before i met Chris & we made it to the drinks. Jus generally had a poop day. Ben had finally decided to get in contact with me & said he needed to talk to me so kinda knew it weren't gonna be gud. So yeah, when i finished work i decided neckin a bottle of voddy was my only choice. Luckily hanky warned me Ben was out. I was off my rocker enough to not care. Drank loads more out. Then got to the stage when i couldn't stop cryin. As you do. Spent all day 2day in bed bein sick, was truly horrid. Then had to work this eve. I really don't know what i've done. It went from bein great to shit jus like that. So i'm single once more. The only thing that could cheer me up at this moment is Ben trippin up & knockin his teeth out. That would be loverly to see. Painful & embarrassin. Would make me feel a bit better at least.

What else has really pissed me off is that my fone won't recharge. To top it off, my batteries died. Could things go any worse? Gonna have to watch some tele & sew i think. If something happens to my sewin i will scream!!!!

Molder

I'm watchin X Files. Woop. Wot a classic. I should really be asleep.

Hoopla

Embroidery hoops!! Does anyone else seem to continually buy embroidery hoops but never seem to find one when you need one. I must have like 20 hoops, but only know the whereabouts of two. The one i'm using - which is quite small in diameter and another which is even smaller and does not fit under the needle on my sewing machine so i see it as useless. It is quite annoyin.

I'm hand stitchin watchin scrubs. Well for the next 45mins i am. Then i'm off t' work. Fun fun fun. Only 4 hrs tho. So alls gud. Final of Britain's nxt top model on 2nite. Will be watchin that. Woop!!

Sleepy Time

Well i txt benny. He didn't reply. Well, i lie. He did. At like 2am, after i sent another txt askin if he was ever gonna reply. I can slowly see myself becomin a stalker/crazy/obsessive girlfriend. SO i'm gonna stand back for a bit. Wait for him. I don't like the person i'm becomin. I blame ben lol.

Didn't do my sewin in the end. I fell asleep on the sofa. Then had my bro ringin me at god knows wot hour drunk. So i ignored him (i'm a loverly sis) and put my fone on silence. He then rang my sis as i heard her fone goin and she did the same as me. We don't like bein woken up. He should know that hehe.

Ady has Moobs

I got way too drunk las night. Lumps of the evening are missing from my mind. Teach me to drink Snake-bite-black! I do so adore it though.. yummy!! hehe I had to spend the day at work with horrid post-bingin shakes. I looked a complete state. Still do in fact. Was meant to be going out 2nite, but neither i, Chris or Sarah are much up to it.

Had a slight arguement with Ben las nite. I haven't seen him since monday so thought he was gonna be out las night. He wasn't. So conversations aren't flowin at the mo. He txt askin if i was out 2nite. I said yeah. Oopsie.. should really tell him i'm not now. Or maybe i'll jus play it out a bit. Let him think he's gonna see me, then disappoint him like he did to me.

Gonna spend my eve with a needle and thread me thinks. Try to get closer to actually finishing my piece. Ou, it crowds on in an hour. Perfecto. I can eat shit food, not worry about lookin like i've licked a badger's arse and giggle away. May even drag my quilt downstairs. Proper snuggle up.

The Dane That Is

I have done nothing but sleep & go on my puter. I have to get ready for workipoos int a bit, where has the day gone?? I'm off out 2nite, so will be embarrassingly drunk as per norm (apparently i talked to Dane Bowers in the taxi rank las thurs - i don't remember)

Ou ou ou.... i have the most gorg ugg boots. I love them more than anything!! I will b wearing them 2nite & hopin not to spill anything on them as i am now broke. ekk! thinkin about it... what am i gonna wear... ?

My little bro Tommy & i las wkend

I'm gonna be sooooooo late for work.. oops

I'm meant to be gettin ready for work (i have another shift - fun!!) so must b quick cos' my hair really needs straightening. I look like i've been pulled through a bush backwards then spat on loads :(

Really haven't got too much further with my sewin which is annoying. I've done more, it's not like i have just ignored it, but i ain't that closer to finished as i would like to of been. I visited my brother for a couple of days for his 22nd. I sadly sat on a train sewing, sat in Paddington train station sewing, and sat in the center of Kings Cross train station for nearly an hour sewing. By that point i couldn't care less if people were giving me strange looks. It beat boredom and staring at the ground. Infact, i pretty much sewed everywhere when i was away. So maybe i have surprised myself a little. I nearly took it out clubbing with me. Probably a gud idea that i didn't. I do tend to spill drinks. hehe. ANYWAYS..... was just trying to think of a pattern to print or paint on to my piece. Something to fill the background a little, but something i can easily sew over. Want it to sorta be related to the theme a little as well. Not as easy to think of as i thought it would be.

(a small bit of my embroidery piece ^)

byzantine

I’ve just flicked over the tele and there’s a programme on about Byzantine art. I wish I had caught the beginning. I like Byzantine art as it’s very symbolic and uses a great spectrum of colour. I like to think that the latest piece of embroidery I’m working on is somewhat Byzantine in appearance , obviously that is just my opinion. There are lots of influences attached to the piece. The main ones are war; revenge; pain; suffering. It’s quite illustrative and symbolic. Has the smallest bit of machine free hand stitch, some fabric paint, but mainly hand stitch, so has taken a while to do. Hopefully I will finish soon. Ekk! I can see light at the end of the tunnel.